TOTUS

If you haven't added the Teleprompter of the United States (TOTUS) to your daily entertainment reading, may I urge you to do so. It always provides the right laugh I need even though things are going crazy around me - in my little world and the Big World. Today's entry concerning the Swine Flu is so hilarious, I must share it (Bruno is J.Napolitano):

New Name, Same Sickening Feeling
Bruno, our DHS secretary, just stuck his head into the Oval to say that he had solved the Swine Flu epidemic. In fact, Swine Flu no longer exists ... because he and his branding specialists, who are still under contract at Homeland, renamed it. From now on, all government officials will refer to the pandemic as a "Porcine-induced Disaster."Now some of you will scoff at this, but keep in mind the next best suggestions came from Joe Biden. In a speech tonight, he wanted to call the Porcine-induced Disasters either "The Squeeler from Tequiler" or "Montezuma's Revenge Part Dos."

Sure, I had a LONG day at work but I still think I would have laughed at this if the day didn't make me delirious.

Today's Trauma

Well, today's "trauma" really is the result of yesterday's trauma. Yesterday afternoon I managed to deeply slice my right pinky open. The actual event didn't hurt but I could not get it to stop bleeding. Finally, I managed to wrap 2 bandaids around it to give just enough pressure to hold the opening shut and subside the bleeding. This morning I decide to change the bandage and lo and behold the blood began to pour. Oh well, off to the doctor I went hoping they could sow me up or something. (SIDEBAR: I have never had stitches before and I have a rather successful record of passing out when donating blood.) I was a little nervous, as you can imagine. When the nurse saw it, she told me that I should have gone to the ER last night and had it stitched. The PA was cool with it and applied the tape to hold my skin together. I felt nauseaous when we were trying to apply pressure to make it stop bleeding and I felt a little light headed on the way to my car. Thankfully, no passing out! The only instruction was to keep the little guy dry. Wouldn't you know the first time I went to the restroom, I washed hands as usual. I'm entirely too irresponsible for these things! So, my day has consisted of TRYING to keep the pinky dry (I dread showering tomorrow) and doing everything with the obnoxious pinky up. AND, since I can't type with it, this entry is the first time I have used apostrophes today (using other fingers of course). I hope this finger heals soon. My pinky is tired from not being used...

Be nice to your Barista

I was reminded today of a story I meant to share last week. In case you don't know, I have been moonlighting as a barista at Starbucks for the last 5 years. It all started because I wanted extra Christmas money. I fell in love with the people and stuck around...forever. Well, the countdown begins to my resignation as the lone original at 7911 and after the experience I had last week, I can leave confidently saying "I have seen it all."
Our store is a drive-thru stop, so last week I was making drinks at the drive-thru bar. So, the dude taking orders gets this HORRIBLY mean customer that was yelling at him through the headset. I hear her rants and just look at him all the while he is laughing saying "She is so rude!" Well, she was insisting that he read back her order but wanted cookies too. He looks at me and asks if I will tell her drink order while he goes to look for cookies. I read her back "Quad grande white chocolate mocha". Then she starts on me saying I am yelling at her. The woman was mad! I just looked at Curtis and said, "Dude, she's getting decaf for sure." Curtis left me to take her money, where she starts in on me AGAIN that I was yelling at her. Sorry, I've been there too long and I gave her what for. Legendary customer service is sometimes just overrated. I complete her DECAF quad grande white chocolate mocha and felt this overwhelming satisfaction as she drove away knowing that as her barista I have the power to jolt her or not. Tonight, no jolt.
A few hours later the store manager and I are the only ones left in the store. So, I had told her about the incident earlier and we got a good laugh out of it all. Well, you aren't going to believe this, but the woman CAME BACK! Yea, no kidding! So, now she's in this incredibly good mood and says to me, "This coffee was so good. I'm wired! I want one more!" She's wired....on four shots of DECAF espresso. It was fantastic. I sold her another drink and decided she could have regular now. If she thought she was wired before, oh what a surprise she was going to have!
Moral of the story: Don't take your crappy day out on your barista. They have the power...

Savannah

My girlfriend, Kirsten, and I have been working on a project at work that has turned our smiles upside down on a number of occasions. So, we decided we deserved to get away for a bit and decided on Savannah. Kirsten had never been and I have family there. So, we made the trip South. We drove to my folks house to shorten the trip listening to Michael Jackson's Thriller much of the way. Aaahhh, the memories it brought back. That was my very first album, I will have you know! According to Kirsten, I had not lived yet because I had NEVER stopped in at South of the Border. We had our picture taken with Pedro to prove it. Anyways, after a nice brunch with my mother we went to Savannah to soak up the history and eat lots of food. Both were successful goals.

This is the childhood home of Flannery O'Connor. We took the tour and were captivated by the simple life and beauty of the 1920s.

This is the Mercer House made famous in "Midnight in the Garden of Good and Evil" movie.

The trip was a blast and gave us both the RnR we needed.